I realised last week how really old and out of touch and soon to be replaced I am. We had some friends over for dinner, which was really fun and lovely, by the way. These friends are a nice married couple who have a two-year-old kid.
I'm not a big fan of toddlers — they're too whiny and demanding and loud and grumpy. Plus, they usually haven't learned to use the toilet, so they're in diapers and stinky a great deal of the time.
My friends' kid was actually pretty much OK, actually. Granted, he was too whiny and demanding and loud and grumpy, as I had expected. But he didn't smell bad, even though he was wearing a diaper. Most of the night he was actually pretty well behaved. He ate everything we had for dinner — spaghetti carbonara, salad and pizza — and his mom and dad were very good at keeping him occupied.
When I was a little kid, things like books and toys kept me occupied, and I expected that this little fella's parents would keep him out of trouble with stuff like that. I was actually pretty surprised when they pulled an iPad out of the kid's toy bag.
I felt sure that there was no way a two year old would know the first thing about how to make an iPad work. Imagine my surprise, then, when this cranky little blob, who couldn't even use a toilet yet, started working that advanced piece of technology like an old pro. I'm about 20 times older than that kid, and I've never even held an iPad in my hand.
It occurred to me that there must be kids all over the world who are just like this little tyke. They're crapping their pants on a regular basis, still use sippy cups and can barely speak. But they can use the latest technology with no problem.
I'm no slouch when it comes to technology or innovation. I love the thought of all the great stuff we'll have and accomplish in the future. But this is the first time that I actually saw the future sitting in front of me.
Forget about this kid and kids like him taking over the world 20 or 30 years down the road, these kids are going to take over long before that. As soon as they learn how to use the big-boy toilets, we're all in big trouble.
Let's hope that they are merciful masters. I, for one, welcome our new toddler overlords.
Sean Vale
Editor
[email protected]
