Gossip

Photographs courtesy of Starbeat/AP/AFP

SIMPSON�S LIP-SYNCH SHOCKER

Ashlee Simpson, ugly-duckling sister of Jessica, was recently caught up in a scandal that could �torpedo her budding career,� according to Star Magazine. But what possibly could tarnish the talents of this highly talented and exceptional 20-year-old, you�re probably asking yourselves. Lip synching, that�s what � the same non-scandal the media has been milking for years.

Anyway, Simpson was due to perform her single �Autobiography� on late-night comedy show Saturday Night Live on October 23, but instead, �Pieces of Me� � a song she has already performed � began playing along with her pre-recorded vocals. Ever the keen improviser, Simpson apparently performed what Star Magazine refers to as a jig before walking off-stage. Luckily, Simpson�s dad was on hand to explain the cause of the problem � the star suffers from a digestive problem that can lead her to need �back-up tapes� on stage. As papa Simpson observed, �No one wants to hear a frog on national television.� The official frog reaction has yet to be gauged.

TEARS FOR TOUGH GUYS

Tough men really do cry sometimes � it�s not always �something in my eye,� �an allergy� or �my face was plucked at by hungry ravens.�

According to the Internet Movie Database, hard men Jude Law, Robert Downey Jr and Laurence Fishburne all feature in a new gallery of photographs naturally entitled Crying Men and were apparently very keen to blubber about nothing in particular � even Reservoir Dogs and Kill Bill tough guy Michael Madsen.

In fact, according to artist Sam Taylor-Wood, many of the stars started crying before she even put the film inside the camera, leading Student Weekly to speculate that they�d all been part of the test audience for Surviving Christmas.

THE NAME�S COLIN, COLIN FARRELL

This week�s highly speculative stab in the dark at possible contenders for unfinalised future movie projects again goes to who will be the next James Bond. Apparently (so says the Internet Movie Database), Pierce Brosnan was �dramatically dropped� from the part last month by studio bosses, although the Student Weekly gossip radar didn�t pick that one up. And according to Brosnan, who was speaking at the Irish Film And Television Awards ceremony, Colin Farrell is the natural choice to bring the superspy bang up to date. Far more interesting is the rumour that Brosnan will collaborate with Kill Bill director Quentin Tarantino on a remake of the first James Bond novel Casino Royale. Meanwhile, Tarantino is planning a new Kung Fu movie to be filmed entirely in Mandarin Chinese and badly dubbed in the age-old tradition of 1970s �chop-socky� movies. One to watch for.

MARSHALL MIMES TOO

Proving that shameful lip-synching scandals aren�t restricted to plastic pop princesses, rapper Eminem is now caught up in a controversy of his own. According to a studio source at Saturday Night Live (what is it about that show?) quoted on the World Entertainment News Network, Eminem, �Was singing �Mosh� and you could tell he was lip-synching. The track was just a bit ahead of his lips and he put the mike down at one point but the track kept going.� However, a representative for Eminem told website Pagesix.com that Eminem was, in fact, simply trying to duplicate the sound on his album (isn�t that the idea behind live performances?) and that �double-tracking� makes the vocal performance more powerful. Adds the astute source, �Lots of hip-hop artists do that. Tupac Shakur did it.� Shakur was unavailable for comment due to being dead.

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Vocabulary

torpedo (v): in this use, to completely destroy the possibility that something could succeed
tarnish (v): to spoil the good opinion people have of somebody/something
exceptional (adj): unusually good
milk (v): in this use, to obtain as much money, advantage, etc. for yourself as you can from a particular situation
improvise (v): to make or do something using whatever is available, usually because you do not have what you really need
jig (n): a quick lively dance
digestive (adj): connected with the digestion of food
blubber (v):  to cry noisily
collaborate (v): to work together with somebody in order to produce or achieve something
astute (adj): very clever and quick at seeing what to do in a particular situation

Idiom

stab in the dark: a guess; something you do without knowing what the result will be