Gossip

CHER GOES BARE

Photographs courtesy of Starbeat/AP/AFP

Here�s a scary thought. While not sexist, ageist or anything-ist in any way, Student Weekly has learned that plastic-surgery-enhanced Cher, she of �Life After Love� fame, is going to take off all her clothes for a �men�s magazine.� Nothing new in that � many young hopefuls have done the same to pay their way as struggling stars and regretted it later. The difference being that Cher is going to proudly pose nude in 2006 to celebrate her 60th birthday, according to National Enquirer magazine. Whether this

is a statement about how beauty transcends age or a case of a star flogging a dead horse of a career is a moot point. But they say the camera never lies, so watch out for the scars where skillful surgeons have nipped and tucked very square inch of Cher�s body. Yes, even there.

PARIS XXX

Speaking of nudism, famous rich person Paris Hilton isn�t known for her reluctance to bare all for no reason at all (shameless publicity doesn�t count). According to every gossip page on the planet, a 12-hour videotape of Hilton hanging out and doing everyday things recently �surfaced� and shows the famously absent-minded heiress (she left her dog at her grandmother�s house and then forgot) greeting a one-time boyfriend in the nude. Apparently, the tape also shows Hilton using racist language, which she denies. Her best pal Nicole Richie added that Hilton, �Doesn�t have a prejudiced bone in her body.� Internet users around the world can testify to that, having studied Hilton�s body in slow motion countless times.

WEIGHT IS OVER

Continuing the fun game of blaming the media for all the world�s problems, actress Renee Zellweger is attacking the press for its coverage of her up-and-down weight, saying she is tired of it all.  You see, Renee had to pack on the pounds for her upcoming role in the Bridget Jones Diary sequel, and she is upset the press had the gall to report on it. �I hate discussing gaining weight to play Bridget as if it was martyrdom,� Renee was quoted as saying by the World Entertainment News Network. �It really disappoints me. I�m either too skinny or my bum�s too big. Whichever way you look as a woman you�ll be made fun of.� Come on Renee, that�s not true; no one has made fun of   

 your ridiculous-looking frozen Botox cheeks.

A REAL CLASS ACT

Proving she must really crave the attention and that her pleas for privacy are all just a publicity stunt, Britney Spears continues to wage war against the paparazzi. After recently being seen throwing milkshakes at the press in Louisiana when they failed to fall for her cheesy Halloween costume, it seems Brit and her family are continuing to show that gracious Southern hospitality. According to the World Entertainment News Network, this time Brit decided to nail the following photographers with cola as they snapped her outside a Louisiana sandwich shop. Brit�s new husband then laughed at the drenched shutterbugs and said, �That�s what happens when you get too close.� No, that�s what happens when a classless brat grows up to be an overrated pop princess.

DRIVING MISS JOEY

Ex-Friends star Matt LeBlanc, better known as Joey, is livid at accusations that he hired a driver to set him up with what the World Entertainment New Network is calling  �backseat gay sex trysts,� and he is fighting back saying he has never had sex with a man. The accusations came to light in the always-truthful and never-trashy American tabloid National Enquirer, where Joey, err Matt�s driver told his sordid tale. The driver insists he isn�t lying and even passed a lie detector test. Lie detector test or not, Joey, err Matt  is denying everything, saying he is a happily married father. �I have never asked to be set up with gay hustlers,� Joey, err Matt is quoted as saying. �It�s absolutely not true. I am not bisexual. I am not gay. I have never had sex with men.� Nevertheless, he did admit to having sex with Rachel, even when he knew she was Ross�s girl. Wait, that was Joey.

Gossip online

Got gossip? Want to talk about it with new friends online? Visit our all-new web forums at www.student-weekly.com/forums and go to the new users instructions. Once you�ve read the instructions, head straight for the Gossip section and get posting!

Vocabulary

reluctance (n): the act of hesitating before doing something because you do not want to do it or because you are not sure that it is the right thing to do
absent-minded (adj): tending to forget things
gall (n): rude behaviour showing a lack of respect that is surprising because the person doing it is not embarrassed
hospitality (n): friendly and generous behaviour towards guests
classless (adj): lacking elegance, style, grace or manners
brat (n): a person, especially a child, who behaves badly
livid (adj): extremely angry
tryst (n): a secret meeting between lovers
sordid (adj): immoral or dishonest or unpleasant

Idioms

to flog a dead horse: to waste your effort by trying to do something that is no longer possible
to come to light: to become known to people