Gossip

Photographs courtesy of EPA/AP/Bangkok Post/AFP

SUPER SPONSOR ME

You�re slim, beautiful and a pop act that many young girls look up to as role models. So when it comes to choosing a sponsor, it�s only natural to choose a fast-food company. And so it was for Destiny�s Child as they signed a deal with McDonald�s for sponsorship of their 2005 world tour. According to the World Entertainment News Network, Beyonce Knowles, the most well-known of the group revealed that, unlike the claims made in the movie Super Size Me (in which a man lives on McDonald�s food for 30 days and nearly dies), McDonald�s food is great and the company has nothing but the best interests of the community at heart. According to Knowles (stifle those laughs NOW), �The great thing about McDonald�s is that they have a lot of different things on the menu ... We get the chance to visit children at Ronald McDonald houses, where some are sick and some have different things going on with them.� Presumably these �different things going on� don�t include obesity and/or malnutrition.

HEAVY HUGH HARD TO FIGHT

So the new Bridget Jones movie is almost upon us. Clearly there�s room for even more movies starring Hugh Grant and Colin Firth playing stereotypical Englishmen in stereotypical England and starring a stereotypical neurotic English woman (ironically played by American Renee Zellweger). But there�s a new twist on the old chestnut about Zellweger�s up-and-down weight gain for the movie. Apparently, it�s Hugh Grant who�s piled on the pounds this time. According to the Internet Movie Database, Zellweger was shocked by Grant�s �flabby� appearance and said that a physical fight scene with the actor was more like wrestling with her grandmother. Two questions naturally arise from such a statement: Whether Zellweger�s grandmother resembles a flabby Hugh Grant, and whether Zellweger has ever wrestled with her. Inquiring minds need to know.

PETTY WOMAN

While beggars wander the streets worrying over where their next meal is coming from and world leaders worry about the imminent threat of terrorist strikes, the only thing worrying Pretty Woman actress Julia Roberts is where her name appears on the movie poster for Ocean�s Twelve, the imaginatively titled sequel to Ocean�s Eleven. But it gets worse. Not only did Roberts not get top billing, she was way, way down, below stars George Clooney, Brad Pitt, Matt Damon, Catherine Zeta-Jones and even below bit-part players Andy Garcia, Don Cheadle and Bernie Mac. Most galling for Roberts, according to the Internet Movie Database, is her placement below Zeta-Jones. Apparently, a film source remarked that �Julia�s not happy. She was in the original Ocean�s film � Catherine wasn�t � and she assumed her name would be first. It might sound petty, but being top means a lot in Hollywood.� And regular meals and shelter mean a lot to the poor and needy. Think about it.

LOHAN�S LIFE A WRECK

Someone once said, �Never let the truth get in the way of a good story.� Why that comes to mind now is anybody�s guess, but National Enquirer magazine recently reported that young Lindsay Lohan�s life is spiralling dangerously out of control. Apparently, the Mean Girls star�s �hard work,� endless partying and multiple car crashes are taking their toll (multiple car crashes? Say what?). Now the 18-year-old is fighting with her boyfriend, turning up late while filming her new movie and slowly going crazy. A source tells the Enquirer, �Lindsay�s headed for disaster ... Her nasty attitude isn�t helping. And the crazier and more unpleasant her life gets, the more bitchy and overwrought she becomes.� Perhaps it was this that led to yet another (another?) car crash when Lindsay crashed her pricey BMW on the way to her boyfriend�s house after a night out. As the �friend� points out, �Her car crashes are a metaphor for her life. It�s one wreck after another.� The National Enquirer failed to observe that a close friend of Lohan�s is unlikely to use the word �metaphor� in a sentence.

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Vocabulary

community (n): all the people who live in a particular area, country, etc. when talked about as a group

stifle (v): to prevent something from happening; to prevent a feeling from being expressed

obesity (n): the state of being overweight

stereotypical (adj): to have formed or created a fixed idea about a person or thing that may not really be true

neurotic (adj): not behaving in a reasonable, calm way, because you are worried about something

petty (adj): concerned with small and unimportant matters, especially when this is unkind to other people

imminent (adj): (especially of something unpleasant) likely to happen very soon

billing (n): the position, especially an important one, that somebody is advertised or described as having in a show, etc

bit-part (n): a small part in a movie

galling (adj): (of a situation or fact) making you angry because it is unfair

needy (adj): (of people) not having enough money, food, clothes, etc.

overwrought (adj): very worried and upset; excited in a nervous way

Idiom

old chestnut: an old joke or story that has been told so many times that it is no longer amusing or interesting